"The Tyrant" and his lesson to me

by Alex Nguyen on Sunday, October 18, 2009 at 1:48am

As I stated in my status, I loved this performance by James Earl Jones in The Tyrant, episode 3 of the 6th House season.

Some plot: James Earl Jones guest stars as Dibala, the dictator of an African country that everyone believes is committing genocide against a tribe back home. There is one dialogue between Chase and Dibala. I cannot fit the whole of it here; but I feel, even as it shows the ignorance and stubborness that can bring a man to kill a whole race of people, there is an innate truth that I have been searching for for a long time.

There is a truth to the comment that "Men Make Choices" and they must act on their decision with conviction. I think his speech spoke much more to me than most. Maybe I have been far too much an appeaser and I need to begin making my stand on behalf of my decisions. Not that I haven't, but I have been far too open to dialogue and compromise with regards to my dreams and goals. Too much thinking a friend of mine would say.
Alot of people tell me that my tendency to be conciliatory is a great thing, and it is in regards to the connections and relationships between my friends and myself, as well as helping resolve various conflicts between friends. However, it has weakened me in some respects, placing me at a disadvatage when it comes to choosing between my goals and the objectives or wants of others. For when placed in a position of having to choose between theirs' and mine, unlike many, I would in many cases, compromise, seek to benefit both myself and the other, rather than take what should be rightfully and wholly mine.

I will explain more after placing some of the script here...

The script: *After altercation with Cameron...*
Chase: You touch my wife again. I will kick your ass out into the street. I don't care who you are.
Dibala (James Earl Jones):"I did her a favor. I showed her her true character...
Chase: She is a better person than you are.
Dibala: She is too weak to act on her beliefs. That is not her fault. Most everyone is...even my own advisors... my own colonel! All they do is negotiate and debate... and sign treaties! They are appeasers. All the while we are beset by assassins, traitors, the scum...
Chase: ...Cockroaches? What are you going to do about them?
Dibala: What is an enemy to you? Some younger physician who covets your office?
In my world there are dangers and bloodshed and death...and that makes you a man; and Men Make Choices.
Chase: Your choice? To send bands of drunk, crazed children to massacre an entire people?
Dibala: Don't ask me questions you don't want to know the answer to.
Chase: I saved your life. I deserve to know what you're planning to do...
Dibala (with emphasis): Whatever it takes to protect my country!"

Now that is a man with strong convictions. Might be to the wrong ideals, but he stands fully by what he says. I respect that. He does not pander to the goals of the people around him. They seek to please him. Now I say this again wth regards to myself and my perceptions of how I act in the world. I have seen many of my friends suffer from maintaining their convictions, when a simple bit of understanding and concession would have helped them attain the final outcome they desired.
I have suffered the antithesis. I feel my own actions of late have lacked that conviction, at least so far in regard to choosing where and how I wish to get to my final destination in life. I will probably always be an appeaser of sorts. I seek reconcilation rather than conflict, however, there are things I will not stand for, my friends have helped me see these lines as well as learn what not to do when I reach them. I will forever seek to make clear what I will and will not stand for. This is a promise to myself, a promise to begin establishing my wants and goals with far more conviction. The missing requirement is action. I must attribute to each of my goals an action that must be followed day by day. A lesson I wish to learn and maybe one for you, if you are a person who needs it too.

This post is not about becoming unyielding or demanding, rather a plege to myself, a reminder that there is a necessary amount of rigor that one must show to be successful in life. To appease forever is to wither in the shadow of another plant, to die by not seeking out that which is necessary for life. Action is required to capture the sunlight I need to grow (yay, plant metaphor). An interesting lesson learned from a 30 second conversation in a TV show.

A Philisophical Conversation - Griffith (G) and Princess (P)

by Alex Nguyen on Tuesday, December 18, 2007 at 8:53am

This is an exchange from two characters in an anime, but I believe it provides deep insight into why people do things and what I seek to have in my life.

Griffith (G) and Princess (P) -

on war, dreams, and death...
(G): Why do most men commit to affairs that end in bloodshed? Isn’t that what you asked me during the hunt? It is true. Men possess a side that is barbarous as you have observed; but it is a double-edged sword. It can be a tool used for winning precious things, as well as protecting them.
(P): Precious things, like friendship and love?
(G): For some men, these are the most precious, but I believe that beneath them there is something even more precious than these. They are driven to pursue it and they pursue it solely for their own sake… no other.
(P): Their dream?
(G): One man’s dream can hold dominion over the entire world. For one who dedicates his life to the forging of a single sword. While many can pursue their dreams in solitude, other dreams are like great storms... blowing hundreds even thousands of dreams apart in their wake. Dreams breathe life into men and can cage them in suffering. Men live and die by their dreams, but long after they have been abandoned... they still smolder deep in men’s hearts. Some see nothing more than life and death, they are dead for they have no dreams.

On friendship...
(P): I’m sure your friends are equally as fascinated by you, and that attracts them to you.
(G): They are my able soldiers, its true. They are dedicated comrades who sacrifice themselves for my dream so that it might be real, but that does not make them friends. In my mind, a true friend never relies on another’s dream. The man who would be my friend must have his own reason for living, beyond me, and he should put his heart and soul into protecting his dream. He should never hesitate to defend it… even against me. For me to call a man my friend, he must be equal to me in all respects.

My take...
These exchanges each have a hint of truth in them. Upon hearing the first, I realized that it is selfishness that creates much suffering in the world. It is the idea that, "what I choose to do is far more important than the beliefs of others" that causes many dreams to be destroyed.

Yet, I also realize this belief is a basic part of human nature. It is also stronger in some than others. If you really wish to make your dreams come to pass, taking this into consideration must be an important part of your reality. I believe I am finally ready to accept that thought, as disgusting as it sounds. I have lived in a very accomodating manner to my friends since high school, no...even further before that. People's beliefs and images, especially about me, were far more important to me than they should have been. (I feel very strongly about this part right now, if I feel I am wronged I will now make sure people know, damn f* room*, btw I find this does not apply to close friends as much as random people I must associate with).

I realize that my attitude revolved around making friends and on being accepted. I made it my "most important" thing. It became my dream to be accepted, well-liked. Yet even though this dream came to pass, I now feel hollow, deprived of satisfaction. This has brought me to another crossroads in my life. I must figure out how to satisfy this growing emptiness inside me.

One of the first things I saw from the second exchange is that I should not have compromised myself and/or my beliefs to make friends. A friend is a person who is equal to me in belief and purpose. I have lowered my purpose in order to find anyone willing to accept me. That is what I have done, yes?

Or maybe, I have finally realized my dream of companionship and find myself seeking something else? The important fact here is that I feel empty, and have for much of the past three years. Must it be our lot in life to keep searching for more? Never to be content with the things we already have?

I think I am now that man, the one who can only see life and death, dead because I have no dream. I have many small dreams don't get me wrong, but these barely get me by. I seek something bigger than me. Something that will give all my actions meaning and all my thoughts a purpose.

I have been far too afraid to accept a larger dream until now for fear of failure. And yet, that is what I have now, failure. Failure to accept my fate and continue on with my life. Failure to face my fears and take over control of my destiny. I want to change this, quite strongly, but years of excuses and detachment have impaired my ability to do so.

I resolve to change this, to find that greater purpose that I will follow until I achieve it.